yoga in the hospital

As I stretched back into child’s pose, I took a deep inhale of my familiar, still slightly rubbery smell of my yoga mat. It’s been to long and even though I’ve been ‘meaning’ to get back into it, something always steps ahead of my yoga time. I do feel really good stretching and breathing and just taking a moment to center myself. I don’t know where my center has been lately but I’m glad I’m finding it. I really need it for this journey. I come up from child’s pose, stretching my too tight back and legs up into down dog. I move through my poses smoothly and feel the pull of tired muscles. Sleeping on a pull out chair leaves much to be desired but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Well, that’s not exactly true. I want to be where my daughter is. I really want all three of my children in the same place but right now my yoga mat is rolled out on pure white linoleum, with pure white walls and clear cords hang nearby. Beeps disrupt my flow slightly but I’ve learned over time to not jump at every sound. My five month old barely takes up the full size hospital bed as she recovers from her second open heart surgery. She’s my hero. She takes the pokes and prodding and treatments like a champ. The beeping numbers don’t always indicate how good or bad she feels so I am constantly balancing mother’s instinct with modern western medicine. Yesterday I got lots of big smiles behind the tape and nose cannon. Today, she seems a little more lethargic from trying to catch up on her lack of sleep. My yoga and meditation is focused on her. Praying for her healing so we can all be together again in one family unit. One day at a time...patience. Another moment, tears, anger, desire for healing. I try to keep as even as possible but there are always those days. Today, I thought it was important to start writing... share my journey...Maybe it’ll help someone else. Maybe it will make someone else appreciate their blessings because I sure do appreciate mine.. 2011 is winding down in 2 days and I am so grateful for life.